Flash: Mind Your Manners

November 29, 2017 • 357 words • 11 paragraphs
Furry | Humor

“I’m sure that we can find something for you here, sir. We have the largest selection of mattresses anywhere in Sawtooth.”

An angry opossum, Jake decided, looked basically like an angry rat. They all looked about the same, when they were angry. they get their teeth out. They make a show of balling their fists as if to say my claws may be manicured, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still sharp. “I can’t see how you can live with yourself mister–” The opossum peered at Jake’s badge. “Mister Jabbs. You stand there, calm as can be, when you’re peddling…peddling…when you’re selling filth!”

The wolverine tilted his head to the side and offered his best apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, sir, I really am. We stock several different kinds of mattresses — we’re one of the largest retailers in Idaho, you see — and we understand that you’ve received one that isn’t a good fit for you. If you would be so kind as to come with me, my manager would be more than willing to get you set up with a mattress you would be happy to take home with you tonight.”

Alissa popped her gum with a grin once Jake made his way back to the sales island they shared. “Another champ, huh?”

“Mm, they do seem to come in waves.”

“I heard that bit, the I don’t know how you live with yourself. I’ve gotten two this week.” The coyote rolled her eyes dramatically, and added, “Sometimes, I don’t know how I live with myself either.”

Jake shrugged and shuffled his sales materials into a stack, racking them against the counter before loading up his clipboard once more. “Oh, it’s not so bad. They come in, they yell, they go home. They buy something, they return it, they think they’ve won. We all go home.”

Alissa frowned, “That easy, huh?”

The wolverine gave a lopsided grin, “That easy.”

“Okay, no, I’m with them. How do you live with yourself? If you were any more laid back, you’d be asleep.”

“Well,” Jake said, straightening his tie and strolling back onto the floor. “I am from Canada.”